Friday, December 19, 2008

Happy Hollisdays!

...from your favorite blogging cat!

(yes, I am TOO your favorite!!)

Keeper says I am getting hardwood floors for Christmas. What are YOU getting?

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Perilous Paw Procedure?

I seem to have developed a hyper claw growing out of my right 'thumb'. It is incredibly thick and will not retreat back into the cave of my paw. Keeper tried to clip it, but I had to hiss and scream to get her to stop because it hurt so much.

Now I have to go back to the vet, where the evil one-eyed cat lives. I am not looking forward to this. I am scheduled to go on Saturday at 1pm.

Keeper keeps asking about whether or not I have developed a drug habit. Apparently drug-habit-type-people have long, obnoxious-looking nails/claws such as the one growing out of my paw.

I find this offensive. I do not even react to cat-nip. I will, perhaps, desire a drug or numbing of some sort in order to remove this strange growth.

What a horrid way to begin the month of November. I am simply vexed. Hisses to all.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Brief. Case.

Keeper briefs cases at 5am. Why?

The only reason I can come up with for this is that she has finally, totally and completely lost her mind.

If she ever decides to go to law school, it will be the death of me. And her. Please do not let her do that. Paralegal is bad enough. If she needs an outlet for her OCD, please, for the love of Greenies, let her find that outlet in knitting, not in interpreting laws. I am not even remotely close to kidding here.

She flustered me so much I forgot I was on a hunger strike and resumed eating.

Curses. Foiled again.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Hunger. Strike.

I have gone on a hunger strike and I am not telling Keeper why. I will see how long I can keep this up without having to be taken to the evil vet, where I may run into the obnoxious one-eyed cat.

I even rebuffed Greenies. I will require a bailout or 'rescue plan' before resuming eating. Something better happen fast, or I might die, taking all your 401kitty cuddle plans with me.

Seriously, the base of my tail...not good. Not. good. at. all.


Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Am tempting fate...

...simply by blogging. I figure that because I did not blog yesterday, and the market fell 777 points (seems like a lucky number to me, but what do I know?), that I would test out my Hollis blogs/market falls theory today.

Let the games begin.

Keeper likes that the House gave Wall Street the finger. Go ahead, Mr. President, cry wolf. Make my day. No stocks needed here. I know how to kill mice.

Do you??

Friday, September 19, 2008

Wet Food.

It has been suggested that were I to be fed wet food, I might be less portly and healthier. So this morning the experiment began, and so far I have to say that I rather enjoy it.

In other news, I am afraid to blog. Every time I start blogging, this stock market thing goes crazy. So perhaps I will lay off awhile.

Who knew that a simple little kitty like me could cause so much financial turmoil just by expressing myself in the written form...?

Me. Yow.

Friday, September 12, 2008


I have been rather frisky lately. I am a bad-ass, vicious fighter. Keeper likes to tell people that I am just overstimulated, but what does she know about it anyway?

I drew a little of keeper's blood this morning. Made. My. DAY!


Thursday, September 11, 2008


I was feeling better yesterday until last night, when keeper abandoned me. I punished her by yelling at her this morning even after I was fed and given a treat. I also sat by the front door, staring at it longingly as if I was wishing for escape from my torturer (I was). I hope I made her feel very, very bad.

Maybe when my new scratching post/perch arrives I will consider forgiving her. Maybe.

Cloudy day. Good day for snuggling underneath comforter all day and forgetting all woes.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008


I am having tummy issues, so must keep this simple today so as to focus all energies on healing.

I think keeper needs to change what she uses to clean my box.

Also, is there alka seltzer for kitties?

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

I have officially returned.

Summer is over and I have put away my bikini and paperbacks and am facing the fact that it is time to get serious again.

Serious about watching and analyzing what is going on next door. Serious about my new scratching post/perch, which should arrive any day now. Serious about the new cat smells on keeper's hands. Serious about my new catbook profile. Serious about parrot hunting. Serious about grasshopper interlopers. And just generally serious about everything. Especially food.

I do not want to overwhelm my audience on my first day back, so I will leave it at that for today.


Monday, August 11, 2008

It is summer, so I am still on sabbatical...

...but I wanted to let everyone know that the covered cat box has come to pass.

This is alright, I appreciate the privacy, and it is large enough that I do not feel cramped.

There is now talk of a special perch/scratching post for me. It shall sit next to the window so I can view the world from a better perspective. Which should help with the blogs. Maybe I can get a better idea of what's going on next door, as well.

Must keep this short, as I am still on sabbatical...will proceed to go hide in the nice, cool closet now...

Friday, May 23, 2008

I Feel Better Now.

My medication still tastes like cheese and I am feeling much better. I even like the new cat who visits because he pets me nice and hard.

Yesterday was dark and rainy, but I am still in a good mood.

I never got the covered cat box and I am wondering if keeper is still considering that. Also, the spying on the people next door has kinda not really worked lately because they don't seem to be there very often. Maybe they figured me out? Or maybe everyone took my advice about batting things about the room and now they are all better and do not need to visit next door anymore. I am sure that is it. Congratulations to them.

I plan to fill this weekend with purrs. I might get combed, but that is okay.

Must go burrow under comforter so I can rest up for hardcore purring sessions.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Medication=Not So Bad.

It tastes like cheese.

And I am getting my girlish figure back.


Wednesday, May 14, 2008

I Have To Go On Medication. Therefore, I Am On Strike For The Day.

In my place, I offer Hunter S. Thompson's "The Wave Speech" from Fear and Loathing...(Unfortunately, I doubt my medication experience will be as eventful as his.)

Strange memories on this nervous night in Las Vegas. Five years later? Six? It seems like a lifetime, or at least a Main Era—the kind of peak that never comes again. San Francisco in the middle sixties was a very special time and place to be a part of. Maybe it meant something. Maybe not, in the long run . . . but no explanation, no mix of words or music or memories can touch that sense of knowing that you were there and alive in that corner of time and the world. Whatever it meant. . . .
History is hard to know, because of all the hired bullshit, but even without being sure of “history” it seems entirely reasonable to think that every now and then the energy of a whole generation comes to a head in a long fine flash, for reasons that nobody really understands at the time—and which never explain, in retrospect, what actually happened.

My central memory of that time seems to hang on one or five or maybe forty nights—or very early mornings—when I left the Fillmore half-crazy and, instead of going home, aimed the big 650 Lightning across the Bay Bridge at a hundred miles an hour wearing L. L. Bean shorts and a Butte sheepherder's jacket . . . booming through the Treasure Island tunnel at the lights of Oakland and Berkeley and Richmond, not quite sure which turn-off to take when I got to the other end (always stalling at the toll-gate, too twisted to find neutral while I fumbled for change) . . . but being absolutely certain that no matter which way I went I would come to a place where people were just as high and wild as I was: No doubt at all about that. . . .

There was madness in any direction, at any hour. If not across the Bay, then up the Golden Gate or down 101 to Los Altos or La Honda. . . . You could strike sparks anywhere. There was a fantastic universal sense that whatever we were doing was right, that we were winning. . . .

And that, I think, was the handle—that sense of inevitable victory over the forces of Old and Evil. Not in any mean or military sense; we didn’t need that. Our energy would simply prevail. There was no point in fighting—on our side or theirs. We had all the momentum; we were riding the crest of a high and beautiful wave. . . .

So now, less than five years later, you can go up on a steep hill in Las Vegas and look West, and with the right kind of eyes you can almost see the high-water mark—that place where the wave finally broke and rolled back.

Monday, May 5, 2008

I Do Not Have Mange.

But I am appalled at my diagnosis:

"Fat Cat Syndrome"

Which basically means: I cannot groom myself as well as I could when I was young and spry.

I am, obviously, a complete and total wreck due to the name of my condition.

To add insult to injury, a one-eyed orange cat terrorized me while I thought I was in the privacy of my examination room. He just walked right in as if he owned the place. I immediately hissed at him. He had the audacity to look hurt and confused. He then walked away and Keeper acted as if I had been cruel.

Then, yesterday, Keeper refused to give me kibbles until I had finished the few, pathetic stale ones left in my bowl from my previous meal. How rude. I hate her.

The world is obviously against me and I cannot believe I even found the motivation to write this blog today. I may have to take some time off to collect myself and recover from my traumas.

Friday, May 2, 2008

A Request.

I have a request.

I ask all my faithful blog readers to keep me in their thoughts and prayers tomorrow about 11am PST. I will be at vet at that time.

Thank you.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

I Will Be Displeased If I Have Mange...

I have to go to the vet on Saturday. I have been losing fur on my back and lower tail and keeper now wants a professional to check me out to make sure I do not have Mange or Addison's disease or whatever.

I do hope it is not serious and that it only means keeper needs to change my food. The food change will hopefully be for the better.

But at least the Greenies have returned. Ra!

I hate the car and now I will have to ride in it Saturday morning. I may have to go visit the humans next door in order to be fully prepared to handle my upcoming stressors., wait a minute, according to yesterday's post I should just bat something around the room.

I will now make haste in the commencement of batting something around the room.

Monday, April 28, 2008

Humans Make No Sense

Today I began my adventure in spying on the humans next door. Here are my observations, so far, in no particular order:

1. If humans want to be happier, they should bat objects about the room, not just sit and talk about their problems.

2. Sitting and talking about their problems have, so far today, only seemed to make these so-called 'problems' worse. Batting objects about the room would prove much more effective in the induction of 'happiness'.

3. I think humans only SAY they want to be happier, when in reality they would have no idea what to do with themselves if their 'problems' went away.

4. There is no problem that cannot be solved by batting objects (alive or otherwise) about the room.

5. Catnip should be used for recreation, not to treat medical conditions. Or...wait a minute, was that the other way around? Ask Rush Limbaugh...

6. There was no catnip found in Heath Ledger's room or body. Catnip does not kill. It may, however, induce a desire to kill the object one is batting about the room. While that is acceptable, it is far better to maim, so the fun can continue for a longer period of time.

7. There are not enough kibbles in my bowl.

8. My box needs to be changed.

9. People next door are boring.

10. Where is the screaming cat?

I have outdone myself. I require recharging.



Thursday, April 24, 2008

Is it wrong... spy on the humans next door?

Well, it might be wrong if keeper did it, because she is (or claims to be) a human.

But how on earth would it be wrong for a kitty cat to spy on humans next door? It is not like I have anything better to do all day. Especially now, since sunlight is limited and my brown throne has disappeared.

Guilt? I will have none.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Kibble Amounts Have Fallen

And still no Greenies.

Life is not so good. I wish keeper would go on vacation again so the unlimited feeder system is reinstated. Right now I prefer food over keeper's company anyway.

Friday, April 18, 2008

After Heinous Comb Abuse, I Threw Up.

Keeper abused me with the heinous comb again last night. She actually got a hiss out of me, which is rather rare.

Later, in the middle of the night, I woke keeper up with my pre-throw-up convulsions. I was hoping to throw up ON the bed, but she pushed me off before I could manage that. So, the carpet it was.

I think we are now almost even. Almost.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

I Am A Kitty. Therefore...I Manipulate.

And yesterday keeper was quite manipulatable. Is manipulatable a word? Who cares, I am just a simple kitty cat.

Anyway. As I believe I have stated before, keeper has been giving me an embarrassingly low amount of kibbles in my bowl. Really, it has just been simply ridiculous. Yesterday, about an hour after she fed me my meager dinner, she was back in the kitchen, and I looked up at her and did my "I am starving and you have not feed me in days" meow, and it actually WORKED! I got two dinners, albeit embarrassingly small dinners, but two dinners nonetheless.

Perhaps Keeper needs to develop a stronger backbone. I am quite happy with her rubbery one, however.

I will attempt manipulation again this evening and report back.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Talk Of A Covered Litter Box

Keeper is thinking of going back to a covered litter box. I can understand why she would want to do this, but she must remember to consider all the positives and negatives of the covered litter box:

Postives of covered litter box:
My poo stays private until removed.
Privacy whilst utilizing litter box.
Covers my scent better.

Negatives of covered litter box:
Poo may not be removed as promptly.
More stuff to clean.
Can get cramped in there for my fluffy self. (Remember, I am not fat, I am fluffy.)

A perplexing situation. The outcome remains up in the air. I will report progress as it occurs.

Basking time very limited. Must bask now.

Monday, April 7, 2008

A New Era?

At least the smells are somewhat the same.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

My Furry Behind Had A Knot

But it is out now. After a few yowls.

However, kibble amounts have increased slightly, so I guess today is a wash.

Friday, March 28, 2008

Closet Was Nice, But I Am Out Now.

Feeling better. No more kitty puke. Previous kitty puke has been removed from carpet. Fresh kibbles are in bowl. All is well.

Keeper got good news at work today. She is changing departments and becoming a paralegal. Her company will pay for her classes to obtain a paralegal certificate. She was spared the dreaded layoffs that occurred yesterday.

I have no idea what this means, except keeper should be calmer now and will not require as much attention while doing down-cat. And the kibbles, they should keep coming. I will not have to teach her to hunt, although I still believe that would be a good idea. I mean, why would she need to be this paralegal thing if she just knew how to kill mice?

There are some things about keeper I will never understand. But that is okay. I am still her kitty.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Tummy Upset.

My tummy has been upset, so I am taking a break from the blog.

Much going on. Too much for kitties to handle.

Will hide in closet all day.

Monday, March 24, 2008

Keeper Is Funny.

Keeper started volunteering at the Pasadena Humane Society this year. I am so secure and confident in my wonderful kitty-dom that I have no problem with this, expect for the slight exception when she comes home smelling like a million other doggies and kitties. It makes me feel like she is a whore. But I get over it because she feeds me.

Yesterday, Keeper was tired from a long, eventful week, but she decided to go to the shelter because, dammit, the puppies and kitties NEED her. (or so she likes to think) So she went, but they were CLOSED FOR EASTER! I found this so incredibly amusing. She came home smelling like nothing but the Metro.

She is so lucky to have such a cool cat like me at home to soothe her when she does stupid things. And she needs lots of soothing!

I gave her extra attention while she did down-cat this morning. I hope she appreciated it.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Easter. And it is hot.

During this time of renewal, I find it difficult to rest because it is hot now. So I had take yesterday off.

Keeper's distraction has not gone away. In fact, it has seemed to increased. I have heard her talk about all sorts of possibilities to the thing she holds up to her ear. I have no idea why she does not just tell it to me, since I am here and alive, and as far as I can tell, the thing she holds up to her ear is an inanimate object. I am very animated, and find it hurtful she chooses to talk to the inanimate object over me.

At least the comforter was bunched up's comforter status remains to be seen.

That is all.

Friday, March 21, 2008

I Am Not Original Or Cool Anymore.

That's right. I am not the only kitty in the blog world.

My ego is shattered.

Well, not really. I have a very healthy ego that will survive this. I guess, without realizing it, I had my paw on the pulse of the blogosphere.

I will start a campaign for the number of kitty cat blogs to outnumber doggie blogs by 2010. Who will join me in this quest?

In other news, soon, either myself or keeper will be seriously injured when she is doing down-cat. I am ALL OVER HER during these sessions--expressing my 'neediness'. (Actually, I am just trying to get her to realize how useless her distraction has been, and that she could learn so much from me...while at the same time feeding her ego by making her think I really want her attention. This is also punishment for the embarrassingly small amount of kibble she pours in my bowl recently. I am brilliant.)

Lots of nice sun for morning basking. Must bask now.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

I Took Yesterday Off.

Keeper has been so distracted lately, I decided to try being distracted as well.

I am not sure if it worked, but keeper seems to be coming around. She should find out some work information next week that will, hopefully, take her out of limbo.

Meanwhile, it is cloudy today, so no basking time for me. And, keeper made the bed, so I am at a loss as to how I am supposed to spend my day. I think it will be a good day to burrow up underneath the comforter and just stay there all day.

I am still gathering my thoughts and memories for my radioactive story. It will probably have a few chapters. It was somewhat traumatic for me and I want to make sure I get the story right, with every nuance, so please bear with me.

The comforter beckons...

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Yea! Cat Toys!

For once, I check the ad atop my page and find something that makes me purr:

Cat toys!

Well, it's about time!

I implore all readers and voyeurs of this blog to celebrate the name of Cat Toys!


Monday, March 17, 2008

Keeper Is A Jinx...

...on the company she works for:

She starts working there the day after Memorial Day last year...stocks inched above $60/share.

Today the stocks inched below $10/share.

This is not the only time keeper has jinxed a company.

Or a band, but that's a different story.

The litterbox calls...

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Horrible Comb! Knots!

...too traumatized to write more...

send Greenies, stat!

Friday, March 14, 2008

I Really Don't Care If You Can "Has Cheezburger"

Good for you. You can has cheezburger.

I can have Greenies.

Do you care?

Yeah, I didn't think so.

Take your cheeseburger and get out of my sight.

(no sun for basking today, but at least comforter is bunched up)

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Sleepy Kitty.

I am very sleepy today. I was going to post about my radioactive experience, but perhaps that is best left until the weekend.

Keeper is abandoning me tonight for some work event. Hopefully she will find out what department she will end up in at work soon. She just found out today that it may be a month before she knows for sure.

Back to nappy time. Meowyawn.....

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Anxiety Meds? I Am So Offended.

Today's blog ad states that it is for "Anxiety Meds for Cats". WTF?

I am beside myself with offense.

And, if I am anxious, it is only because of the previous cat urine ads. Maybe these ads are a conspiracy.

In other news, keeper thinks she has lost her mind. Hee hee. Really, she just left it at home today and I've been batting it around the apartment. I will hide it under the bed and see if she can find it when she gets home.

Anxiety my furry grey ass!

Monday, March 10, 2008

Nothing To Report...

...except that keeper abandoned me last night to take a friend in very early in the morning for surgery.

This friend has been known to give me salmon, so I suppose I shall forgive.

But I shall never forget.

That is all for this yucky Monday.


Sunday, March 9, 2008

Fun With Down-Cat

Today keeper did some yoga in the morning and I had such fun winding myself around her arms and legs while she did down-cat. I managed to position my tail right under her nose! Then it was fun to figure out exactly what spot she was going to move toward and be right there to mess her up. Hee hee.

Keepers sometimes need to be put in their place. Today was a good day for that.

Saturday, March 8, 2008

The Cat Urine Ads...Why?

Am I the only one offended by the cat urine ads above the postings on my blog? When I added the ads to pay for my therapy, I had no idea the ads would be so insulting they would make me require MORE therapy.

I am saddened and purrplexed. Please click on the ads anyway. It is even more urgent at this time.

I keep very good control of my urinary habits. Yes, there were those couple of times when urine somehow ended up on keeper's bed, but that was because I was ill, and keeper didn't seem to notice.

After I became radioactive for a couple of weeks, everything was all better. You may look forward to my radioactive story in a future post.

In other disturbing news, Keeper smelled like dog when she got home today. Or, I should say, dogs. As Amy Winehouse would say, what kind of fuckery is this?

Friday, March 7, 2008


Last night was much better. Keeper went to bed early and slept soundly through the night. There was basking time this morning, with plenty of nice sun.

Keeper did stay home longer this morning than usual. She had to take an early conference call from home. Apparently, there is something called the stock market, and her company's stock went a little wacky yesterday. I got to hear the conference call because she had it on speaker phone and was doing down-cat while listening to it.

Keeper may be able to parlay this very wacky situation into something very nice for herself. Maybe. I will be rather impressed if she can pull this off. If not, she may have to learn how to kill mice. In fact, I think she should do that no matter what happens.

In the meantime, it is Friday and the weather is lovely. If only keeper had forgotten to make the bed this morning, it would be a nearly purrrrrfect day fur kitty cats.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

A Rough Night / A Good Day

Keeper had major insomnia last night, so I was on-duty for snuggling almost all night long. I would just drift off when keeper would either a)jostle around and turn on the light, b)jostle around and turn off the light, or c)jostle around and remove herself from the bed for a few minutes (which always psyches me out because I think she is getting up to feed me).

I did get her back by breathing bad breath right into her face at one point. That was funny. And I do not feel guilty about it at all because I attended to my duties as perfect feline companion so well.

This morning she rewarded me with food (I thanked her by rewarding her with fresh cat food breath), and left the bed UNMADE (!) especially for me to enjoy all day whilst I attempt to catch up on my beauty rest.

I remain displeased about the recent lack of Greenies, however. Keeper keeps forgetting to buy them with those paper slips she obtains from work. Perhaps when things settle down into something remotely predictable at her place of work, things will return to normal, and normal must include Greenies at least twice a day.

I still think simply learning to kill mice would solve all our problems. Well, perhaps not the Greenie brain is starting to hurt. I had a rough night.

Ah, the sunny, bunched up comforter beckons my GOOD day! Purr............zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

I Am Now Starving.

The ridiculously limited amount of kibble in my bowl is atrocious.

Keeper is incredibly distracted with changes at the place where they give her little paper slips that make it possible for her to go out and trade those slips for kitty kibbles. Seems like it would be much easier if she would just learn how to kill mice.

I would write more but must conserve energy until next meal.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

It Has Been Suggested That I Am Rather Large.

To this, all I have to say is:

I am not fat, I am fluffy.

And big-boned.

PS: Keeper gives me diet food (the continuous feeder is gone, thank you very much!), in small amounts, and now she will probably give me even less.

You all suck.

PS: Just for that, everyone will have to suffer through ads on my blog so keeper can pay my therapy bills. My issues are quite expensive now.

Monday, March 3, 2008

Sunday, March 2, 2008

Good smells...

Well, keeper came home in a good mood last night. I was happy to see her out and about on a Saturday night.

This morning the apartment smells wonderful, because keeper has decided to bake homemade bread again. This is her 2nd loaf.

Of course, as a kitty cat, I avoid carbs, but it is nice to have the pleasant smells to go along with the screeching of my parrot friends in the tree in the mornings.

I love my parrot friends. I am, however, unsure if they love me back....? I will ponder and revisit this when I have something fresh to say about it.

Saturday, March 1, 2008

A Bad Day.

This was a bad day. Except for one thing: keeper did not make the bed until late in the day, which gave me extra cuddle time with beloved comforter.

Aside from that, today was just a total waste of cat dander.

First, there was no sun all day. No basking time at all.

Second, keeper brought out the loud red monster she drags across the carpet every once in a while. That thing is evil. And, once it is gone, I have go around the apartment redistributing my fur. It is a total waste of time, peace and fur.

I guess one other good thing is that the embarrassing kitty cat puke has disappeared, and my litter box is much more pleasant now. While nice, these things do not in any way, shape or form make up for the loud red monster. There is simply no excuse for that.

I was also combed and clipped, which I could have done without.

Hopefully tomorrow will be sunnier and more peaceful.

Friday, February 29, 2008


I am a kitty cat and I like my routines. Lately, things have been changing at too fast a pace for me. The weather seems different and the sun lasts longer. Keeper has not been around as much, and when she is, she is distracted. The kitty cat puke is still drying by the bed, and my litterbox still requires attention.

I am out of sorts.

At least the continuous feeder remains out.

I hope things return to normal soon. Except for the claw clipping. We can skip that.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

A Taboo Subject Has Been Brought Up In The Comment Section...

...and rather timely, I might add.

I am just going to say it straight out: Kitty Cat Puke.

It happens. Any cat who says it does not is dealing with some hardcat denial.

In fact, since I am feeling confessional today, I will admit to having thrown up last night sometime in the wee hours right next to keeper's bed. And yes, her bare foot did make contact with it while making the bed this morning. Although she does deserve it for making the bed and ruining a perfectly bunched up comforter, it really wasn't the best morning for this sort of thing to happen to her. She was running late, and the puke is still drying out and getting crusty right by the bed. As if she does not have enough on her plate what with all the drama at her work. My litterbox is in need of some attention as well.

However, aside from the puke issue, I was a very loving feline companion to keeper yesterday evening and all through the night with my snuggles and the loving kitty gazes I have perfected throughout the years.

I will rest up for tonight by taking a long afternoon siesta in the late afternoon sun that shines through the bedroom window and leaves long patches of sunbathe-worthy light on my beloved comforter.

Purrs to all, and to all a puke-less night!

Wednesday, February 27, 2008


Today I have ordained myself with the moniker: Technicat. I have learned how to google, and how to set my blog to accept anonymous comments. Please be nice, as I am only a kitty. A kitty with claws.

I must keep this short today as keeper will need a lot of attention when she returns from work, and my energy requires conserving in order to do so at the level to which she has become accustomed. She just found out today that her boss, the nicest boss she has ever had (which has made my life more pleasant in ways too numerous to list), is leaving her company as of today and her abandonment issues are flaring.

So I will now proceed to buckle up for what I can only assume will be a rather bumpy night.

I wish I was more genetically prone to enjoy catnip in times like these...

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Litterbox Confessions

I was a little irritated with the keeper last night, as she was late coming home from work, and when she did get home, she paid me very little attention.

So, I kicked a few extra litterbox kibbles onto the bathroom floor for her this morning, in hopes she would step on them in her bare feet. I find it amusing when this happens. Not sure why. But I mean, if it's good enough for my bare paws, why isn't it good enough for her bare feet, hmmm?

But alas, I was thwarted. She took the little brush and pan she keeps next to the litterbox and swept everything up. I prefer it when she is distracted or lazy and allows these things to slide.

Well, morning sun-basking time has come to an end and I am off to burrow underneath the comforter on the (made) bed for the rest of day. I have a very tight schedule.

PS: I need fresh water, and that pisses me off. I mean, she has time to sweep up litterbox kibbles, but then no time to give me the fresh water I require to maintain optimal bladder health? For shame. Hiss.

Monday, February 25, 2008

The Sun Has Returned.

I am happy today because the sun has returned and I can spend the vast majority of the day basking in it.

Therefore, today's post will be short.

That is all.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Oh, happy day! (or morning at least...)

So, this morning was great! The keeper was up early, but she did NOT make her bed. She does not seem to understand that I prefer the bed unmade, because then I can burrow into the folds of the comfy comforter and purr my way into oblivion all. day. long.

Unfortunately, she usually comes in about 15-30 minutes after I've settled in, starts tugging at the fabric around me singing some inane song about all kitty kitty cats getting off the bed. Which makes absolutely no sense because I am the only cat in the vicinity, and have been for quite some time. Whatever. Then, I have to get off the bed, and I usually scold her a little while she "makes" the bed (I have no idea why anybody would want to do this). Sometimes, after she leaves me to my own devices, I find a way to burrow back under the comforter, all the while making sure my tracks are covered. It took months to figure out exactly how to do this, but it was worth it. Life is 100 times better under the comforter.

So, without having made the bed this morning, the keeper took her rolled up mat and left for a couple of glorious hours...I went straight for the unmade bed and didn't even come to greet her at the door when she got home because I did not want to waste one precious moment of under-the-comforter time. I am actually posting this from under-the-comforter.

I have a very bad feeling that she is about to 'make' the bed, and worse yet, sing that inane song while doing so. No wonder she is single. And there is not even any sun today to bask in. So the day is about to take a turn for the least I enjoyed it while it lasted.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Naughty Patches

Today was a good day. The keeper was around (unlike last weekend when she abandoned me for 3 days and two nights with only a continuous feeder and large bowl of water to keep me company) and she cleaned my litterbox. So it started out to be a good day.


Keeper was on the couch watching a movie and I kept correcting her and getting in her line of vision so she could be doing the things she was supposed to do: watch me, pet me, tell me how wonderful I am, etc. I do like to help her out when she gets off track. But today she petted my chest and felt a knot in my fur. She tried to ignore both me and it, but it obviously got to her. So she pushed a button and the sound in the room went away, and then she proceeded to the dreaded drawer with the weapons of cat destruction: brush, heinous comb, and claw clippers. She procured the dreaded heinous comb and then called me over ever so nicely. I can't believe I fell for it. She then abused me with the comb until the knot became more attached to the comb than it was to me.

This didn't used to happen. I used take better care if my fur. But I'm retired now and I thought the keeper would be my 401k plan for fur maintenance. The interest has yet to pay off as I'd hoped. This was a bad year to retire.

I would pontificate more, but it is Saturday night and keeper is at home alone. This means I put in double duty as emotional support. Keeper is so draining, I wish she'd deign to go on a date sometimes. Or watch something cheerier than Syriana. But oh well. The litterbox calls...I answer.

Friday, February 22, 2008

I was busy last night...

Last night my keeper had insomnia. That always means a long and difficult night for me. I would just find my position and fall asleep when I would be jostled and accosted with light. The jostling would stop and the light would stay on as the keeper held the kitty cat face scratcher in her hands and stared at it for awhile (I believe the keeper calls this a book). The keeper seems to get annoyed when I use the face scratcher...I never understand this because she is not using it, just staring at it. Humans make no sense to me sometimes.

So now that the keeper is off to work I will snuggle into something warm and catch up on my beauty rest. There is no sun to bask in today, but the continuous feeder is still out so I think I'll be okay.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Hello. I am Hollis.

This is my first blog post. I am still figuring out my 'voice'...I need to get past all the mews, hisses and purrs within me so I can hear the voice of my true inner feline. When I get in touch with that voice, I will post what it says here. Today it told me to create this blog, and I think that's all it's going to say for today. Plus, I need a nap.

PS: Yes, ThursdayGirl is my 'keeper'. At least, that's what I allow her to think. Also, the food could be much better.