Thursday, October 30, 2008

Perilous Paw Procedure?

I seem to have developed a hyper claw growing out of my right 'thumb'. It is incredibly thick and will not retreat back into the cave of my paw. Keeper tried to clip it, but I had to hiss and scream to get her to stop because it hurt so much.

Now I have to go back to the vet, where the evil one-eyed cat lives. I am not looking forward to this. I am scheduled to go on Saturday at 1pm.

Keeper keeps asking about whether or not I have developed a drug habit. Apparently drug-habit-type-people have long, obnoxious-looking nails/claws such as the one growing out of my paw.

I find this offensive. I do not even react to cat-nip. I will, perhaps, desire a drug or numbing of some sort in order to remove this strange growth.

What a horrid way to begin the month of November. I am simply vexed. Hisses to all.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Brief. Case.

Keeper briefs cases at 5am. Why?

The only reason I can come up with for this is that she has finally, totally and completely lost her mind.

If she ever decides to go to law school, it will be the death of me. And her. Please do not let her do that. Paralegal is bad enough. If she needs an outlet for her OCD, please, for the love of Greenies, let her find that outlet in knitting, not in interpreting laws. I am not even remotely close to kidding here.

She flustered me so much I forgot I was on a hunger strike and resumed eating.

Curses. Foiled again.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Hunger. Strike.

I have gone on a hunger strike and I am not telling Keeper why. I will see how long I can keep this up without having to be taken to the evil vet, where I may run into the obnoxious one-eyed cat.

I even rebuffed Greenies. I will require a bailout or 'rescue plan' before resuming eating. Something better happen fast, or I might die, taking all your 401kitty cuddle plans with me.

Seriously, the base of my tail...not good. Not. good. at. all.