My Furry Behind Had A Knot

But it is out now. After a few yowls.

However, kibble amounts have increased slightly, so I guess today is a wash.

Closet Was Nice, But I Am Out Now.

Feeling better. No more kitty puke. Previous kitty puke has been removed from carpet. Fresh kibbles are in bowl. All is well.

Keeper got good news at work today. She is changing departments and becoming a paralegal. Her company will pay for her classes to obtain a paralegal certificate. She was spared the dreaded layoffs that occurred yesterday.

I have no idea what this means, except keeper should be calmer now and will not require as much attention while doing down-cat. And the kibbles, they should keep coming. I will not have to teach her to hunt, although I still believe that would be a good idea. I mean, why would she need to be this paralegal thing if she just knew how to kill mice?

There are some things about keeper I will never understand. But that is okay. I am still her kitty.

Tummy Upset.

My tummy has been upset, so I am taking a break from the blog.

Much going on. Too much for kitties to handle.

Will hide in closet all day.

Keeper Is Funny.

Keeper started volunteering at the Pasadena Humane Society this year. I am so secure and confident in my wonderful kitty-dom that I have no problem with this, expect for the slight exception when she comes home smelling like a million other doggies and kitties. It makes me feel like she is a whore. But I get over it because she feeds me.

Yesterday, Keeper was tired from a long, eventful week, but she decided to go to the shelter because, dammit, the puppies and kitties NEED her. (or so she likes to think) So she went, but they were CLOSED FOR EASTER! I found this so incredibly amusing. She came home smelling like nothing but the Metro.

She is so lucky to have such a cool cat like me at home to soothe her when she does stupid things. And she needs lots of soothing!

I gave her extra attention while she did down-cat this morning. I hope she appreciated it.

Easter. And it is hot.

During this time of renewal, I find it difficult to rest because it is hot now. So I had take yesterday off.

Keeper's distraction has not gone away. In fact, it has seemed to increased. I have heard her talk about all sorts of possibilities to the thing she holds up to her ear. I have no idea why she does not just tell it to me, since I am here and alive, and as far as I can tell, the thing she holds up to her ear is an inanimate object. I am very animated, and find it hurtful she chooses to talk to the inanimate object over me.

At least the comforter was bunched up yesterday...today's comforter status remains to be seen.

That is all.

I Am Not Original Or Cool Anymore.

That's right. I am not the only kitty in the blog world.

My ego is shattered.

Well, not really. I have a very healthy ego that will survive this. I guess, without realizing it, I had my paw on the pulse of the blogosphere.

I will start a campaign for the number of kitty cat blogs to outnumber doggie blogs by 2010. Who will join me in this quest?

In other news, soon, either myself or keeper will be seriously injured when she is doing down-cat. I am ALL OVER HER during these sessions--expressing my 'neediness'. (Actually, I am just trying to get her to realize how useless her distraction has been, and that she could learn so much from me...while at the same time feeding her ego by making her think I really want her attention. This is also punishment for the embarrassingly small amount of kibble she pours in my bowl recently. I am brilliant.)

Lots of nice sun for morning basking. Must bask now.

I Took Yesterday Off.

Keeper has been so distracted lately, I decided to try being distracted as well.

I am not sure if it worked, but keeper seems to be coming around. She should find out some work information next week that will, hopefully, take her out of limbo.

Meanwhile, it is cloudy today, so no basking time for me. And, keeper made the bed, so I am at a loss as to how I am supposed to spend my day. I think it will be a good day to burrow up underneath the comforter and just stay there all day.

I am still gathering my thoughts and memories for my radioactive story. It will probably have a few chapters. It was somewhat traumatic for me and I want to make sure I get the story right, with every nuance, so please bear with me.

The comforter beckons...

Yea! Cat Toys!

For once, I check the ad atop my page and find something that makes me purr:

Cat toys!

Well, it's about time!

I implore all readers and voyeurs of this blog to celebrate tonight...in the name of Cat Toys!

Hurrah!

Keeper Is A Jinx...

...on the company she works for:

She starts working there the day after Memorial Day last year...stocks inched above $60/share.

Today the stocks inched below $10/share.

This is not the only time keeper has jinxed a company.

Or a band, but that's a different story.

The litterbox calls...

Horrible Comb! Knots!

...too traumatized to write more...

send Greenies, stat!

Hollis Is Taking the Day Off..icanhascheezburger Filling In:

see more crazy cat pics

I Really Don't Care If You Can "Has Cheezburger"

Good for you. You can has cheezburger.

I can have Greenies.

Do you care?

Yeah, I didn't think so.

Take your cheeseburger and get out of my sight.

(no sun for basking today, but at least comforter is bunched up)

Sleepy Kitty.

I am very sleepy today. I was going to post about my radioactive experience, but perhaps that is best left until the weekend.

Keeper is abandoning me tonight for some work event. Hopefully she will find out what department she will end up in at work soon. She just found out today that it may be a month before she knows for sure.

Back to nappy time. Meowyawn.....

I Am Still Starving, By The Way.

In case you were wondering...

Anxiety Meds? I Am So Offended.

Today's blog ad states that it is for "Anxiety Meds for Cats". WTF?

I am beside myself with offense.

And, if I am anxious, it is only because of the previous cat urine ads. Maybe these ads are a conspiracy.

In other news, keeper thinks she has lost her mind. Hee hee. Really, she just left it at home today and I've been batting it around the apartment. I will hide it under the bed and see if she can find it when she gets home.

Anxiety my furry grey ass!

Nothing To Report...

...except that keeper abandoned me last night to take a friend in very early in the morning for surgery.

This friend has been known to give me salmon, so I suppose I shall forgive.

But I shall never forget.

That is all for this yucky Monday.

Mew.

Fun With Down-Cat

Today keeper did some yoga in the morning and I had such fun winding myself around her arms and legs while she did down-cat. I managed to position my tail right under her nose! Then it was fun to figure out exactly what spot she was going to move toward and be right there to mess her up. Hee hee.

Keepers sometimes need to be put in their place. Today was a good day for that.

The Cat Urine Ads...Why?

Am I the only one offended by the cat urine ads above the postings on my blog? When I added the ads to pay for my therapy, I had no idea the ads would be so insulting they would make me require MORE therapy.

I am saddened and purrplexed. Please click on the ads anyway. It is even more urgent at this time.

I keep very good control of my urinary habits. Yes, there were those couple of times when urine somehow ended up on keeper's bed, but that was because I was ill, and keeper didn't seem to notice.

After I became radioactive for a couple of weeks, everything was all better. You may look forward to my radioactive story in a future post.

In other disturbing news, Keeper smelled like dog when she got home today. Or, I should say, dogs. As Amy Winehouse would say, what kind of fuckery is this?

TGIFeline...

Last night was much better. Keeper went to bed early and slept soundly through the night. There was basking time this morning, with plenty of nice sun.

Keeper did stay home longer this morning than usual. She had to take an early conference call from home. Apparently, there is something called the stock market, and her company's stock went a little wacky yesterday. I got to hear the conference call because she had it on speaker phone and was doing down-cat while listening to it.

Keeper may be able to parlay this very wacky situation into something very nice for herself. Maybe. I will be rather impressed if she can pull this off. If not, she may have to learn how to kill mice. In fact, I think she should do that no matter what happens.

In the meantime, it is Friday and the weather is lovely. If only keeper had forgotten to make the bed this morning, it would be a nearly purrrrrfect day fur kitty cats.

A Rough Night / A Good Day

Keeper had major insomnia last night, so I was on-duty for snuggling almost all night long. I would just drift off when keeper would either a)jostle around and turn on the light, b)jostle around and turn off the light, or c)jostle around and remove herself from the bed for a few minutes (which always psyches me out because I think she is getting up to feed me).

I did get her back by breathing bad breath right into her face at one point. That was funny. And I do not feel guilty about it at all because I attended to my duties as perfect feline companion so well.

This morning she rewarded me with food (I thanked her by rewarding her with fresh cat food breath), and left the bed UNMADE (!) especially for me to enjoy all day whilst I attempt to catch up on my beauty rest.

I remain displeased about the recent lack of Greenies, however. Keeper keeps forgetting to buy them with those paper slips she obtains from work. Perhaps when things settle down into something remotely predictable at her place of work, things will return to normal, and normal must include Greenies at least twice a day.

I still think simply learning to kill mice would solve all our problems. Well, perhaps not the Greenie issue...my brain is starting to hurt. I had a rough night.

Ah, the sunny, bunched up comforter beckons me...to my GOOD day! Purr............zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I Am Now Starving.

The ridiculously limited amount of kibble in my bowl is atrocious.

Keeper is incredibly distracted with changes at the place where they give her little paper slips that make it possible for her to go out and trade those slips for kitty kibbles. Seems like it would be much easier if she would just learn how to kill mice.

I would write more but must conserve energy until next meal.

It Has Been Suggested That I Am Rather Large.

To this, all I have to say is:

I am not fat, I am fluffy.

And big-boned.

PS: Keeper gives me diet food (the continuous feeder is gone, thank you very much!), in small amounts, and now she will probably give me even less.

You all suck.

PS: Just for that, everyone will have to suffer through ads on my blog so keeper can pay my therapy bills. My issues are quite expensive now.

I Like To Lick Myself

Tis true.

I do.

Good smells...

Well, keeper came home in a good mood last night. I was happy to see her out and about on a Saturday night.

This morning the apartment smells wonderful, because keeper has decided to bake homemade bread again. This is her 2nd loaf.

Of course, as a kitty cat, I avoid carbs, but it is nice to have the pleasant smells to go along with the screeching of my parrot friends in the tree in the mornings.

I love my parrot friends. I am, however, unsure if they love me back....? I will ponder and revisit this when I have something fresh to say about it.

A Bad Day.

This was a bad day. Except for one thing: keeper did not make the bed until late in the day, which gave me extra cuddle time with beloved comforter.

Aside from that, today was just a total waste of cat dander.

First, there was no sun all day. No basking time at all.

Second, keeper brought out the loud red monster she drags across the carpet every once in a while. That thing is evil. And, once it is gone, I have go around the apartment redistributing my fur. It is a total waste of time, peace and fur.

I guess one other good thing is that the embarrassing kitty cat puke has disappeared, and my litter box is much more pleasant now. While nice, these things do not in any way, shape or form make up for the loud red monster. There is simply no excuse for that.

I was also combed and clipped, which I could have done without.

Hopefully tomorrow will be sunnier and more peaceful.