Tuesday, April 29, 2008

I Will Be Displeased If I Have Mange...

I have to go to the vet on Saturday. I have been losing fur on my back and lower tail and keeper now wants a professional to check me out to make sure I do not have Mange or Addison's disease or whatever.

I do hope it is not serious and that it only means keeper needs to change my food. The food change will hopefully be for the better.

But at least the Greenies have returned. Ra!

I hate the car and now I will have to ride in it Saturday morning. I may have to go visit the humans next door in order to be fully prepared to handle my upcoming stressors. Or...no, wait a minute, according to yesterday's post I should just bat something around the room.

I will now make haste in the commencement of batting something around the room.

Monday, April 28, 2008

Humans Make No Sense

Today I began my adventure in spying on the humans next door. Here are my observations, so far, in no particular order:

1. If humans want to be happier, they should bat objects about the room, not just sit and talk about their problems.

2. Sitting and talking about their problems have, so far today, only seemed to make these so-called 'problems' worse. Batting objects about the room would prove much more effective in the induction of 'happiness'.

3. I think humans only SAY they want to be happier, when in reality they would have no idea what to do with themselves if their 'problems' went away.

4. There is no problem that cannot be solved by batting objects (alive or otherwise) about the room.

5. Catnip should be used for recreation, not to treat medical conditions. Or...wait a minute, was that the other way around? Ask Rush Limbaugh...

6. There was no catnip found in Heath Ledger's room or body. Catnip does not kill. It may, however, induce a desire to kill the object one is batting about the room. While that is acceptable, it is far better to maim, so the fun can continue for a longer period of time.

7. There are not enough kibbles in my bowl.

8. My box needs to be changed.

9. People next door are boring.

10. Where is the screaming cat?

I have outdone myself. I require recharging.



Thursday, April 24, 2008

Is it wrong...

...to spy on the humans next door?

Well, it might be wrong if keeper did it, because she is (or claims to be) a human.

But how on earth would it be wrong for a kitty cat to spy on humans next door? It is not like I have anything better to do all day. Especially now, since sunlight is limited and my brown throne has disappeared.

Guilt? I will have none.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Kibble Amounts Have Fallen

And still no Greenies.

Life is not so good. I wish keeper would go on vacation again so the unlimited feeder system is reinstated. Right now I prefer food over keeper's company anyway.

Friday, April 18, 2008

After Heinous Comb Abuse, I Threw Up.

Keeper abused me with the heinous comb again last night. She actually got a hiss out of me, which is rather rare.

Later, in the middle of the night, I woke keeper up with my pre-throw-up convulsions. I was hoping to throw up ON the bed, but she pushed me off before I could manage that. So, the carpet it was.

I think we are now almost even. Almost.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

I Am A Kitty. Therefore...I Manipulate.

And yesterday keeper was quite manipulatable. Is manipulatable a word? Who cares, I am just a simple kitty cat.

Anyway. As I believe I have stated before, keeper has been giving me an embarrassingly low amount of kibbles in my bowl. Really, it has just been simply ridiculous. Yesterday, about an hour after she fed me my meager dinner, she was back in the kitchen, and I looked up at her and did my "I am starving and you have not feed me in days" meow, and it actually WORKED! I got two dinners, albeit embarrassingly small dinners, but two dinners nonetheless.

Perhaps Keeper needs to develop a stronger backbone. I am quite happy with her rubbery one, however.

I will attempt manipulation again this evening and report back.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Talk Of A Covered Litter Box

Keeper is thinking of going back to a covered litter box. I can understand why she would want to do this, but she must remember to consider all the positives and negatives of the covered litter box:

Postives of covered litter box:
My poo stays private until removed.
Privacy whilst utilizing litter box.
Covers my scent better.

Negatives of covered litter box:
Poo may not be removed as promptly.
More stuff to clean.
Can get cramped in there for my fluffy self. (Remember, I am not fat, I am fluffy.)

A perplexing situation. The outcome remains up in the air. I will report progress as it occurs.

Basking time very limited. Must bask now.

Monday, April 7, 2008

A New Era?

At least the smells are somewhat the same.