Monday, April 28, 2008

Humans Make No Sense

Today I began my adventure in spying on the humans next door. Here are my observations, so far, in no particular order:

1. If humans want to be happier, they should bat objects about the room, not just sit and talk about their problems.

2. Sitting and talking about their problems have, so far today, only seemed to make these so-called 'problems' worse. Batting objects about the room would prove much more effective in the induction of 'happiness'.

3. I think humans only SAY they want to be happier, when in reality they would have no idea what to do with themselves if their 'problems' went away.

4. There is no problem that cannot be solved by batting objects (alive or otherwise) about the room.

5. Catnip should be used for recreation, not to treat medical conditions. Or...wait a minute, was that the other way around? Ask Rush Limbaugh...

6. There was no catnip found in Heath Ledger's room or body. Catnip does not kill. It may, however, induce a desire to kill the object one is batting about the room. While that is acceptable, it is far better to maim, so the fun can continue for a longer period of time.

7. There are not enough kibbles in my bowl.

8. My box needs to be changed.

9. People next door are boring.

10. Where is the screaming cat?

I have outdone myself. I require recharging.

Naps=Nirvana

Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr......................

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