My Vet Experience Was...

...completely unclawed for!

Perilous Paw Procedure?

I seem to have developed a hyper claw growing out of my right 'thumb'. It is incredibly thick and will not retreat back into the cave of my paw. Keeper tried to clip it, but I had to hiss and scream to get her to stop because it hurt so much.

Now I have to go back to the vet, where the evil one-eyed cat lives. I am not looking forward to this. I am scheduled to go on Saturday at 1pm.

Keeper keeps asking about whether or not I have developed a drug habit. Apparently drug-habit-type-people have long, obnoxious-looking nails/claws such as the one growing out of my paw.

I find this offensive. I do not even react to cat-nip. I will, perhaps, desire a drug or numbing of some sort in order to remove this strange growth.

What a horrid way to begin the month of November. I am simply vexed. Hisses to all.

Brief. Case.

Keeper briefs cases at 5am. Why?

The only reason I can come up with for this is that she has finally, totally and completely lost her mind.

If she ever decides to go to law school, it will be the death of me. And her. Please do not let her do that. Paralegal is bad enough. If she needs an outlet for her OCD, please, for the love of Greenies, let her find that outlet in knitting, not in interpreting laws. I am not even remotely close to kidding here.

She flustered me so much I forgot I was on a hunger strike and resumed eating.

Curses. Foiled again.

Hunger. Strike.

I have gone on a hunger strike and I am not telling Keeper why. I will see how long I can keep this up without having to be taken to the evil vet, where I may run into the obnoxious one-eyed cat.

I even rebuffed Greenies. I will require a bailout or 'rescue plan' before resuming eating. Something better happen fast, or I might die, taking all your 401kitty cuddle plans with me.

Seriously, the base of my tail...not good. Not. good. at. all.

Hiss.

Am tempting fate...

...simply by blogging. I figure that because I did not blog yesterday, and the market fell 777 points (seems like a lucky number to me, but what do I know?), that I would test out my Hollis blogs/market falls theory today.

Let the games begin.

Keeper likes that the House gave Wall Street the finger. Go ahead, Mr. President, cry wolf. Make my day. No stocks needed here. I know how to kill mice.

Do you??

Wet Food.

It has been suggested that were I to be fed wet food, I might be less portly and healthier. So this morning the experiment began, and so far I have to say that I rather enjoy it.

In other news, I am afraid to blog. Every time I start blogging, this stock market thing goes crazy. So perhaps I will lay off awhile.

Who knew that a simple little kitty like me could cause so much financial turmoil just by expressing myself in the written form...?

Me. Yow.

Frisky.

I have been rather frisky lately. I am a bad-ass, vicious fighter. Keeper likes to tell people that I am just overstimulated, but what does she know about it anyway?

I drew a little of keeper's blood this morning. Made. My. DAY!

Meh.