Keeper is boring.

Keeper is very distracted and boring to me right now. I wish she would pull her head out of her butt and look around her and be present. But no. She has her head stuck in a computer or a book and ignores me and the rest of the apartment. Like we don't even exist or something.

I am enjoying my new haircut, however.

Shaved.

Keeper had me shaved! It was humiliating. And yet, when temps reached into the upper 90s this week I was very glad.

But I still hate her. She didn't even ask. I do look all svelte now. I'm not as fat as most people seem to think, and now it is obvious. I also like how intense the petting feels without all the fur in the way.

But it is still no excuse. I shall now go do something secret and evil.

The Year So Far.

It was been a quite eventful year so far. The hardwood floor situation has been resolved, but now Keeper is concerned about heat. Alas, solving problems before they occur has never worked out so well for her, so I have been encouraging her to focus on other, more pressing concerns.

Such as my new condition. I have kidney issues and require much attention now. I might also add that it is very good that keeper has a good job now.

My new requirements:

1) Prescription food.

2) One big ass capsule to be snuck into me in some way once per day.

3) Two smaller pills to be snuck into me in some way twice per day.

4) 150 cc's of IV treatment to be administered subcutaneously every other day. No re-using of the needles.

Oh, but I am sooooo worth it.

2009 is hard...

...wood floors. I like hardwood floors below my feet. I do not like hardwood floors above my head. Something must be done or I may have to drown myself into Greenie oblivion.

New white comforter is awesome and very easy to bunch up and hide under all day.

I did manage to completely humiliate myself multiple times by falling off the windowsill. Some may think I am too portly, but I believe the construction of the windowsill is faulty and way too narrow.

I refuse to sit atop the scratching post. I have my reasons, but will not share what they are. Must keep Keeper on her toes.

Happy Hollisdays!

...from your favorite blogging cat!

(yes, I am TOO your favorite!!)

Keeper says I am getting hardwood floors for Christmas. What are YOU getting?

My Vet Experience Was...

...completely unclawed for!

Perilous Paw Procedure?

I seem to have developed a hyper claw growing out of my right 'thumb'. It is incredibly thick and will not retreat back into the cave of my paw. Keeper tried to clip it, but I had to hiss and scream to get her to stop because it hurt so much.

Now I have to go back to the vet, where the evil one-eyed cat lives. I am not looking forward to this. I am scheduled to go on Saturday at 1pm.

Keeper keeps asking about whether or not I have developed a drug habit. Apparently drug-habit-type-people have long, obnoxious-looking nails/claws such as the one growing out of my paw.

I find this offensive. I do not even react to cat-nip. I will, perhaps, desire a drug or numbing of some sort in order to remove this strange growth.

What a horrid way to begin the month of November. I am simply vexed. Hisses to all.